100 Things Switzerland is Forbidden to Do
by Forever Prosperous
Summary: Things Switzerland cannot do in a word meeting or outside world meetings. Inspired off of AsianAnimeGamer's "100 Things Nations Cannot Do" Fanfiction.


Things Switzerland is forbidden to do.

 **Here is a little one shot I came up with after reading '100 things Nations Cannot Do' by AnimeAsianGamer. And yes, I am aware that she already did one on Switzerland. I hope you like it!**

Alright, as The personification Of the Swiss Confederation, I have to follow some rules.

1\. Here we go. Whether it's Day or night, When chasing Italy Veneziano off my land, I am only supposed to chase him off my land, and not into other European Nations' lands.

2\. They will complain about the noise.

3\. Even Liechtenstein complains about it!

4\. I wish she didn't leave.

5\. Also, dealing with some nations like Belarus or any of the normally grumpy nations when they are cranky is not the prettiest thing.

6\. Which reminds me, that When dealing with the nations that aren't normally grumpy when they complain, I cannot shoot them when they do complain.

7\. Not only would That be taking things to the extreme, but it's a waste of bullets.

8\. And then I have to pay for their medical bill, which is something I do not like to do.

9\. Also, it's not healthy for my sanity to punch the person who signs me up for anger management classes or when they try to put me in mental institutions.

10\. Rule 9 goes for you, France.

11\. If one were to ask how many guns I have, I cannot reply by using, "OVER 9000!"

12\. What? Can't I have some fun, too?!

13\. And yes, I do have Internet, I just don't use it so often.

14\. When chasing Italy off my lawn, I cannot abandon the chase and instead shoot at France when he goes: "Someone got the farmer's daughter pregnant again~"

15\. Again, it is a waste of bullets.

16\. And Because it is an expression, so he doesn't mean it.

17\. Hmph, I think It's A Dumb expression, to be perfectly frank.

18\. To France: FOR THE LAST TIME, FRANCIS, I'M NOT A FARMER!

19\. AND LIECHTENSTEIN IS MY SISTER, NOT MY DAUGHTER!

20\. SO IF YOU SAY OR THINK THAT ONE MORE TIME, I WILL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!

21\. (Forgot about rules 15 through 17)

22\. What? Germany and Mr. U.N. Said I couldn't shoot him, but they never said anything about making threats!

23\. ….Did they?

24\. I cannot shoot anyone that says they ship 'SwissAus.'

25\. I don't like Austria in that way.

26\. The same can be said for 'SwissLiech'.

27\. I Cannot Shoot Prussia when he tells the Micro nations that I was the one who shot Bambi's mother.

28\. Do you know how annoying it is when you have Half a dozen or Micro-nations yelling at me?!

29\. And then they tell me that they will eat BELGIUM'S chocolate!

30\. AND THAT WILL EFFECT MY ECONOMY!

31\. …Did I just really throw a fit over something that stupid?

32\. I am forbidden to punch anyone that says I don't deserve a peace prize.

33\. Or when they tell me peaceful nations don't shoot at people.

34\. Or when they say using my gun doesn't peacefully end disputes.

35\. When telling the definition of neutrality, I am forbidden to Punch the nation that tells the show's definition of Neutrality.

36\. No matter how rude it is.

37\. Yes, I'm aware that there is a double meaning to that Prussia!

38\. So don't even THINK about saying it!

39\. I am forbidden to insult the Holy Roman Empire.

40\. Otherwise, Romano will not hesitate once to send out Hid Mafia connections.

41\. And I don't want to go through that again.

42\. I am forbidden to punch people in the face when they ask why I'm not friendly like my citizens.

43\. I mean, it's great to know that they think my people are friendly, but I wish they can understand that just because my citizens are friendly doesn't mean I have to be friendly!

44\. I am forbidden to accuse Turkey of purposely letting Italy win the Italo-Turkish War.

45\. Or laugh at Italy's face then call him a liar.

46\. Because at the time of the war, the Ottoman Empire was weakening.

47\. If Italy talks about the Italian Renaissance, I cannot call it a "load of bullshit".

48\. Even though I think it is a load of bullshit.

49\. I am forbidden to make fun of Austria by telling him he could save all the money he wants, but he could not save his marriages.

50\. Otherwise, I will be hit with a Frying Pan.

51\. I cannot make a petition to dissolve Italy.

52\. What? It's not my fault he's an idiot!

53\. Nor can I do a petition for France.

54\. Even though England would agree with me on France.

55\. I cannot force feed Romano Cheese or potatoes.

56\. He doesn't like it. And will have a fit.

57\. And Spain may not act like it, but he can be terrifying when angered.

58\. It's Japan's decision to make his opinions or to agree with the stupid American, so I am forbidden to yell at him.

59\. Besides, he might use a taser on me like he did the last time.

60\. I must restrain my self from strangling people when they point out that I have been sued AND arrested more times than The BTT AND Awesome Trio Combined.

61\. I must have a valid reason to shoot France.

62\. Sadly, The "Because I Wanted To" Excuse doesn't qualify.

63\. Otherwise, France WILL Use pepper spray on me.

64\. Also, if France does use it, I cannot shoot him in return.

65\. I cannot openly tell people that it's my dream to see Italy buried 6 feet under, all the while having a dreamy smile.

66\. Even though that is my dream.

67\. …Could that be the reason why people try to put me in mental institutions?

68\. If so, I should not be saying this at all.

69\. Also, If someone curses in ear-shot of me, I cannot yell at them and say that Liechtenstein could've heard them.

70\. It makes me a hypocrite.

71\. Making "Dissolve Austria, France, and/or Italy" a top priority for the UN is not allowed.

72\. Calling myself The Only "Mature and Responsible nation" is not allowed.

73\. Otherwise, the Other Mature and Responsible nations such as Germany, Norway and Sweden will get angry at me.

74\. I cannot volunteer to host a world meeting just for the purpose of shooting nations that enter my lawn.

75\. Again, the medical bills.

76\. And people will want to severe me and their ties. And place sanctions.

77\. Oh yeah, I can't punch people when they call me "Gun Freak".

78\. Or "Satan's Child".

79\. Or "The Nutcase of Europe."

80\. I may be neutral, but I have Feelings and emotions, too!

81\. Honestly!

82\. Does anyone have any respect around here?!

83\. I cannot hum the Swiss National Anthem.

84\. Its rude.

85\. Humming in general is rude.

86\. I am forbidden to have a staring contest with Sweden.

87\. Its pointless.

88\. Also, we'd be forced to stop.

89\. Oh yeah! When that does happen, me and Sweden are forbidden to glare the person down who stops us.

90\. I can't put poison in my chocolate and use it on France, Prussia, Italy or Austria.

91\. That would get me and my boss in a lot of trouble with their bosses.

92\. Unless they don't involve guns and violence, I cannot carry out my threats.

93\. If Finland were to go as Santa for Christmas time, I cannot shoot his sleigh down.

94\. Because Finland is also skilled with guns.

95\. And Sweden will hunt me down.

96\. What? Sweden has a bigger military strength than me!

97\. I cannot call the French Language "The Language of Garbage"..

98\. Even though England would agree with me.

99\. Again.

100\. Unless I want to lose gun Privileges for a month, I, the Swiss Confederation, have hereby agreed to follow these rules.

 **AN:**

 **Ah, you know, violence is pretty much the only way Switzerland would react to most of these reactions if he would lose his temper. So I'm really not gonna say the reasons for the rest of them.**

 **For 3 and 4, it's my headcanon that Liechtenstein was oblivious to what Her brother does at night, and that after World War II, she left his house.**

 **For 27-31, I read this in a fanfic, I can't remember what the name of it was though…**

 **For numbers 34-37, there is a double meaning for the shows definition of neutrality(if you don't know it, look it up). The first one is basically Switzerland telling the others to stay out of his area. The 2nd meaning of the "STAY THE FUCK OUT!" Part is that Switzerland is shooting down planes, yet he is neutral, so he isn't supposed to do that in a war. I think that's how it works.**

 **54-56. It's states on the wiki page that Romano hates things that involve potatoes and cheese.**

 **96: Sweden does have a stronger military strength than Switzerland.**

 **97\. I think considering the fact that Switzerland doesn't think fondly of France, I can see him saying that. And yes, French is one of his national languages, although I can see him trying to avoid it.**


End file.
